


Wild Night

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-04-21
Updated: 2001-04-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 10:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14789141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of theWest Wing Fanfiction Central, a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in theannouncement post.





	1. Wild Night

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Disclaimers: None of these people belong to me, except for Eleanor Cregg, and even there I'm taking just a teeny bit of inspiration from Aaron Sorkin. The rest of the cast are unequivocally his. Also I'm not making money or anything off this. Just writing for fun.

Spoilers: well, obviously parts 1-6 of my series. Otherwise, none that I'm aware of.

Archive: sure, inform me of the place

Feedback: Of course!   
\------

"Wild Night"

Josh headed down the West Wing hall smiling to himself. He finally stopped in front of his best friend's office. "Oh, Sam."

An atrociously overworked Sam paused for a moment. "Yeah, Josh, something I can do for you?"

"Not right now." Josh still stood in Sam's doorway.

"Then go away." Sam turned his focus back to his computer screen. "I have to finish the Atlanta remarks before Leo comes to chew my head off."

Josh snorted. "You didn't finish them? They were supposed to be done yesterday."

"I got sidetracked."

"By what?"

Sam looked a bit shamefaced as he answered. "Eleanor."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Finally Sam spoke in a very low tone of voice. "C.J. and Eleanor got me into a discussion of what order the wedding service should be in."

Josh smiled broadly. It was the wise-ass grin that to Sam was the most annoying part of his best friend. By far. "So, the old ball and chain already has you wrapped around her little finger."

"I'll tell C.J. you called her that, Josh."

Josh debated an appropriate answer, then changed the subject. "So, what day's good for your bachelor party?"

Sam put aside his work for a moment. "Probably Friday night. I already told Leo that the two of us will want the day off afterwards."

Josh grinned. "Okay. Let me set it in motion. You, my friend, are going to have the best bachelor party in the world."

"And what would that entail, may I ask?" Sam had to pose the question. He was half excited, but he was also half dreading Josh's answer.

"Well... how does this sound?" Josh paused and lowered his voice for dramatic effect. "A limo, four cans of whipped cream, a Twister board, some floor cleaner and a mouse. And the obligatory stripper, of course."

"Of course." A small smile played on the corners of Sam's mouth. It wouldn't be *that* bad. Not even Josh was that stupid as to let it get out of hand.

"How could I be so dumb!" Josh smacked himself on the forehead. "Oh yeah. I sent Donna out for six six-packs. I figure that'll be enough."

"Fine." Sam turned back to the computer. "I leave all in your capable hands."

Josh turned to go, then lingered. "Actually, Sam, I do need one thing from you."

"Sure."

"Laurie's number."

Sam stopped dead and fixed his friend with a fierce glare. "Josh, what the hell do you need it for? She's not a call girl anymore. And I resent the insinuation."

"No, Sam, you've got it wrong." Josh shrugged helplessly. "I just thought... she might know someone or something."

Sam rolled his eyes. "What, Laurie's your one connection with the 'seedy Washington underworld?'" Josh didn't answer, and Sam turned back to the computer. "Find your own strippers, Joshua."

"Fine. No offense, Sam. Really."

"I know." Sam turned back to the speech, sighing. That was just the way Josh was. And he still didn't know how Donna put up with it, day in day out.

Donna and Josh were very amusing to watch. He'd bait her until she took it, then she'd turn the tables on him so neatly Josh was at a loss for an answer. Sam often wondered how Josh could be a Fulbright scholar and yet his dropout secretary could flummox him.

Not that he thought of Donna as a dropout, Sam added hastily to himself. She was one of the most naturally bright women he'd ever met. And she was brilliant in a way that Josh was not � common sense. She would point out the problems with getting drunk on a Tuesday night, while Josh would look at her as if she was speaking Farsi. And then he'd go do it, and the next morning he'd do nothing but yell at her. And she still put up with it! He gave her credit for her forbearance.

And she'd needed it lately. She and C.J. had become very close, but C.J. only grew more nervous as the wedding approached. She'd assured him that she wanted nothing more than to get married, and Sam believed her. But it wasn't good to watch her disintegrate. Thank God Eleanor was there for the small details. C.J. dealt with those enough at work. Thus the burden of keeping C.J. on an even keel had fallen to him and to Donna.

Well, Sam mused, bachelor and bachelorette parties were a great way to blow off steam. It would be incredible. Having fun was one of the things Josh did best. But first, he had to finish this speech.

Buoyed by thoughts of release, Sam got back to work.


	2. Wild Night 2

 

Warnings/spoilers/etc: see pt 1

\-----

"So, C.J., you ready for your bachelorette party?"

The press secretary looked up from the memos she was proofreading. "Donna," she said, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, "at this point I'm more worried about Sam's bachelor party."

Donna snorted. "You should be. Josh is planning it."

"Exactly." C.J. got up to stretch her legs. "I can see it now. Thirty drunk guys, probably a stripper and God knows what else."

"C.J., even Josh isn't that stupid as to let it get too far out of hand," Donna said. "Sam will probably wind up keeping *him* in line. Besides," she added, with a very un-Donna-like wicked grin, "if we restrict them, they'll try to restrict our fun at your bachelorette party."

C.J. grinned. "Donna, in case you haven't forgotten, my mother's coming to our party. That ought to put a damper on things."

"I don't know," a voice came from the hallway. "I still have life left in me yet." Eleanor Cregg walked into her daughter's office. "Hi, Claudia Jean. Hi, Donna."

"Hi, Eleanor." Donna smiled. In spite of her friend's constant bitching, she genuinely liked the older woman.

"Hi, Mom." C.J. smiled. "How are you?"

"At this point, thoroughly sick of senators. I've just been raked over the coals because Senator Jackson decided to change his mind. Again."

Donna sighed. "Great, that means Josh will be in a bad mood."

"Isn't he always?" Eleanor smirked. "Claudia Jean, I won't be able to come over tonight; something's come up."

"All right." C.J. said. She didn't finish the sentence. *You mean Leo asked you out again, Mom?*

Donna, however, had no such compunctions. "So Eleanor, what's going on with you and Leo?" she asked, eyes shining with the promise of gossip.

"Nothing really. We've just gone out to dinner a few times." Eleanor's tone was casual, but her eyes were soft. C.J. couldn't help but smile back. Even though it was very weird, she was genuinely glad that her mother and her boss were getting along so well. It was good to see Eleanor so happy.

Donna let it go grudgingly. "Surrrre." Then she turned back to C.J. "So, do you think Sam and Josh will get plastered at the party?"

C.J. made a rude noise. "Do senators argue?"

"I don't know, do they?"

"It was a rhetorical question, Donna."

"Oh."

"Of course they'll get drunk!" C.J. bit her lip moodily. "They'll get plastered and Sam will be useless for at least a day."

"Josh persists in the fallacy that he can `drink with the best of them,' as he puts it," Donna answered. "As I repeatedly tell him, he can't drink with any of them."

"Oh, but it's worth it," Eleanor chipped in mischievously. "He's quite amusing when he's trashed."

"We're going to have to try and prevent that," Donna said. "Really. I want my boyfriend in one piece for this week."

"Yeah," C.J. agreed. "We'll think of something."

"But what?"

"How should I know?"

"Lemme think about it," Donna said. "I'll come up with something."

"Well, we'll have to see what happens, I guess." C.J. sighed. "I hope nothing untoward happens. Really. The press would have a field day."

"Well, imagine what will happen when they find out Laurie's friend Gina is going to be there."

Donna had spoken idly, but it made C.J. jump. "Gina!" she echoed, full of venom. "The stripper?" It wasn't that she didn't like Laurie and her friends, C.J. told herself, but... she could never be too safe.

Realizing what she'd done, Donna hastened to make amends. "Josh called her, C.J. � not Sam."

"Okay then." C.J. was still hesitant though. "I don't know."

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "Claudia Jean, trust the man. He's not going to cheat on you two weeks away from his wedding."

"I guess you're right." C.J. forced a smile.

"I know I'm right," Eleanor added.

Donna grinned. "The ceremony's all planned. I can't believe it."

"Me neither."

"You still nervous?" Donna looked at C.J. sympathetically. "If it's any consolation, Sam is terrified too."

It was the wrong thing to say. "He is?" C.J. echoed, face falling. That alone was enough to start the doubt race: maybe he'll back out, maybe he won't show, maybe he'll change his mind, maybe he'll...

Eleanor knew this look well. "Claudia Jean, stop that right now!" she said firmly.

"I'm sorry, C.J." Donna looked embarrassed. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know." C.J. sighed. "It's just scary, you know?"

"Completely," Eleanor said with a reassuring grin. "I felt the same way before I married your father. But that doesn't mean I loved him any less for being scared."

"I guess you're right."

"Come on, let's go find Josh. We have to finish the Scranton memo before we leave."

"Yeah, and I've got a few other things for him." C.J. grabbed her files. She, Eleanor and Donna left and headed down the hall.

 


	3. Wild Night 3

 

Warnings/disclaimers/etc: see pt 1  
Feedback: Please?

\---

With a precision that made the women wonder if he had been listening earlier, Josh strolled by with a sheaf of papers in his hand. "Speaking of trashed, I am so looking forward to Friday night. Oh, and C.J., I need you to look at these when you get a minute."

Donna glared at him. "Josh, is there anything in this for you other than a chance to get very inebriated?"

"Inebriated." Josh rolled the word around on his tongue. "I like the sound of that. And yes, I happen to be very excited for my two best friends' wedding."

"I'll bet," C.J. muttered.

Just then her phone rang. C.J. answered, had a brief conversation and hung up. "That was Sam," she reported. "He's coming down here to finish talking to you, Mom, so you might want to get the notes ready on the Atlanta remarks."

"Right." Eleanor hurried off. "See you all later."

Sam wasn't long in coming. "Hey, Donna, Josh." He walked over and planted a quick kiss on his fiancée. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Donna was still glaring at Josh. "*He* only wants your bachelor party to happen so he can get inebriated."

Sam smiled goofily. "Well, what else are bachelor parties for but to get inebriated?" He too rolled the word over his tongue. "I enjoy saying that word. Inebriated. Inebriated."

"Oh, shut up." C.J. rolled her eyes affectionately. Somehow, it was so much more annoying when Josh did that. "My mom's in her office, Sam."

Donna, meanwhile, went on the attack. "Sam, you're useless when you're drunk. And for days after. Isn't that true?"

"What do you mean?" Sam sounded vaguely insulted.

"Well... you're not as bad as Josh," Donna said, sounding conciliatory.

"Hey!" Josh glared back at his assistant.

She went on, unfazed. "But you wake up with killer hangovers and you whine and moan, when it's your own fault in the first place."

"How do you know all this?"

"C.J. tells me."

"C.J.!" Sam exclaimed. "Why are you telling Donna this stuff?"

His fiancée smirked. " Same reason you told Josh about the salad incident."

Sam flushed; obviously Donna knew about that, because in addition to Josh's smothered chuckles Donna was grinning wickedly at him. "Well," he said weakly, "how was I supposed to remember where salad dressing normally goes?"

C.J. had to laugh. "Sam, I'm just warning you, because if you and Josh go get blind drunk, Donna and I will do the same."

It was Josh's turn to smirk. "I'll bet Donna's just as useless as Sam the day after drinking."

Donna stared him down. "Care to wager on that?"

"Yeah," C.J. said, liking the idea. "Care to have a little bet?"

"Isn't that against the gambling laws?" Sam said uneasily.

"What, are you chicken?" C.J. grinned evilly. She made clucking noises at him, just for fun.

"Come on, C.J., that's really elementary school." Josh came to his friend's defense, though he was smiling.

"Fine," Donna said, turning away. "I guess they're too chicken, C.J."

"Waittaminute," Josh said, eyes narrowing. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Well," Donna said, warning C.J. silently to let her do the talking, "we were thinking, if you get blind drunk, then you have to be at the bachelorette party to watch us do the same."

Josh raised his eyebrows. "That's it?"

C.J. looked at her friend quizzically. "Yeah, that's it?"

"No." Donna's smile was exquisite. "Did I mention that you'd have to be there stripping?"

"What!?" Josh and Sam responded as one, their voices cracking in unison.

"It's fair." C.J. regarded Donna with a new appreciation. "I love the way you think."

"Thanks."

Sam was the first to respond. "No way!"

Josh followed suit. "No how!"

The women burst out laughing. "OK, Josh," C.J. said, giggling. "I can see how you wouldn't want people to see past that reputation of yours!"

"Now wait a minute!" Sam objected. "At the very least, if we *were* to take this bet of yours... what would you two do if *we* won?"

"Good thought." Josh set his mind to the task. Eventually he answered, with a gleam in his eye. "Have C.J. tell the president who really broke his Art Deco lamp in the Oval Office."

C.J. grimaced. That lamp was worth at least three thousand dollars, and she'd knocked it over while tripping over her own two feet. Still ... "What about Donna?" she asked boldly.

"Oh, that's easy," Josh said with a wide grin. "Donna, if you lose this bet, you have to ask Bruce Gordon to the next state dinner."

"Gack!" Donna made retching noises. "He's *awful!*"

C.J. shuddered for Donna. "Being the date of Ainsley's Fascist Republican friend at a state function... Josh, you're evil."

Sam heartily agreed. But a thought struck him. "Josh, isn't that hurting you too? I mean, you'll be dateless."

"Yeah. But keeping Gordon away from the President is more than enough to make up for it."

Donna stamped her foot. "Joshua."

"You know what I mean." He shot her a placatory glance. "Please, Donna?"

"Does this mean you accept our challenge?" C.J. asked archly, shooting her fiancé a smug look.

Sam stared her right back. What the hell. Seeing the President, or at the very least Leo, chew C.J. out for something he had originally been blamed for, would be highly entertaining. "I do."

Josh, staring at his friend, sighed. "All right. I accept too."

The four shook hands. "All right, guys," Donna said, eyes shining. "This is going to be good."

 


	4. Wild Night 4

 

Disclaimers in part 1  
OK, I know this might be a little farfetched, but ask me if I care. :) This is a comic relief story.  
Feedback: Please? 

\-------  
Donna finished the last work for the day. "Josh, I'm going home!" she yelled through his closed door.

The small assent came. "Okay."

But instead of leaving Donna strode through the Wing over to the press secretary's office. "C.J., you there?" she asked, Carol having gone home.

"Yeah, I'm here. Come on in."

Donna entered and sat down on the couch. "C.J., I've been thinking about this weekend."

"Yeah?"

"What's to say they won't cheat?"

C.J. stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Donna. "What do you mean, cheat?"

"Think about it, C.J. What's to keep them from drinking non-alcoholic beer or something?"

"You really think they'd drink *non-alcoholic beer* at a bachelor party?" C.J. raised her eyebrows.

"To get us?"

"Good point." C.J. took off her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Well, what should we do about it?"

"I don't know."

The women fell silent for a moment, until C.J. snapped her head up to look at Donna. Without saying a word, she dialed a number. "Hi. Is he in?" A pause for the other person to respond. "OK, thanks." She hung up and turned back to Donna. "Go get Sam's Rolodex."

"Okay." Donna rose, baffled. "But why �"

"I'll explain when you come back." C.J. waved a hand. "Sam will be back soon � go, go!"

"All right!" Donna left and was back quickly, carrying Sam's immaculate phone directory. "What are we looking for?"

C.J. didn't answer right away. She was too busy pawing through the phone numbers. "Carter, Cattrell � Coe. Here it is. Gina Coe."

"Is that Laurie's friend?"

"Yep." C.J. held out the card. "And you're gonna call her."

"What! Why?"

"Because." C.J. paused to explain her idea. "Why not have Gina tell us if they cheat?"

Donna smiled. "What if she won't do it?"

"Oh, she'll do it." C.J. was firm in her conviction.

"You're sure?"

"Trust me." C.J.'s face broke into an evil grin. "Let's just say pressure can be exerted in the right places."

Donna smiled cautiously. "All right." She picked up C.J.'s phone and dialed the number written in Sam's microscopic hand. Hoping she'd gotten it right, Donna listened to the rings.

Someone picked up after the fourth ring. "Look," a woman's voice said, "the caller I.D. says `unlisted,' so please do not try to sell me anything. Have a nice day." She went to hang the phone up.

Donna had to do something. "Wait!" she said, hoping the woman would hear her.

It worked. "Yes?"

"Is this Gina Coe?"

"Yes."

"This is Donna Moss. I work at the White House."

Gina snorted. "I'm sorry, but why would someone at the White House be calling me?"

Though she didn't want to do it, Donna played her trump card early. "You're friends with Laurie. Who's friends with Sam Seaborn."

"Laurie... oh, right!" Gina cracked her gum. "Sorry. It's a little hard to believe, you know? What did you say your name was?"

"Donna Moss."

"Well, Miss Moss, what can I do for you?"

"Donna, please, and it's a really strange favor, I have to tell you."

"Well, I'm sure I've heard weirder things. And call me Gina."

"Okay."

"First off, this has to do with Sam's bachelor party, I'm guessing. Right?"

"Yeah." Donna paused for a moment, then just decided to blurt everything out, then deal with the consequences. "OK, here's what's up. I'm Josh Lyman's girlfriend."

"Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman?"

"Yeah. And C.J. Cregg, the Press Secretary, is Sam's fiancée."

"Okay."

"We made a bet with them that they didn't have enough willpower to drink without getting blind drunk at the bachelor party."

"Right."

"But we're not sure they won't cheat by drinking non-alcoholic beer or something." Before Gina could answer, Donna added, "They'd do it to get us. This bet was pretty high stakes. And we want someone to make sure they don't cheat."

After she finished, the other end of the line was silent. "Is that too much to ask?" Donna asked timidly.

Finally, though, sound could be heard on the other end of the line: laughter. "That sounds great!" Gina crowed. "How funny! But what happens if they win your bet?"

Donna told her. "Bruce Gordon is an obnoxious windbag Republican Fascist, and if C.J. has to tell the President she broke the lamp he'll subject her to some sort of godawful punishment generally not suited for a woman with as many degrees as she has."

Gina smirked. "What happens if you win?"

"They strip at C.J.'s party."

Gina exploded into laughter. "That's beautiful!" she giggled. "Well, I think I can help �" She cut herself off in the middle of her sentence. In an odd tone, she said, "Donna, would you put me on speakerphone? Is that possible?"

"Yeah." Donna put the receiver down and switched to speakerphone. "The other voice you'll hear is C.J. Cregg."

"Hi," C.J. said. "So, can you help us out, Gina?"

"C.J., I can do better than that." Gina lowered her tone, just in case. "OK, here's my idea. I usually work with a partner. But Felicity's sick this week. So I need someone to fill in."

The full implication of what Gina was suggesting struck C.J. and Donna at the same time. "I'd love it!" Donna cried. "You're suggesting that one of us fill in for your partner?"

Almost immediately C.J. demurred. "I don't know... what if the press finds out?"

"How would they?" Gina asked. "What I was going to say is that whoever comes should dye her hair and stuff like that. You'd have to do it anyway, so Mr. Seaborn and Mr. Lyman wouldn't recognize you."

"That's true." C.J. said. She pondered the idea for a moment. Finally she said, "I wouldn't be able to. I don't know if you watch CNN ever, Gina, but I'm about six feet tall."

"Yeah, that'd be pretty conspicuous." Gina blew a bubble with her gum that exploded into the speaker with a loud pop. "Donna, what about you?"

C.J. appraised the younger woman critically. "It could work," she said. "Donna's an average height. Maybe on the tall side. Long blond hair. Blue eyes."

"Yeah, that'd be good." Gina paused. "Donna, whaddya think?"

"I don't know." Donna thought about it for a minute. It might be dangerous. Some drunk man might try to grope her or something. On the other hand, it might be fun. And it might pay Josh back for that little comment about "dull Donna." When she told him, of course.

She didn't think any longer. "I'll do it."

"Great!" Gina laughed. All of a sudden, she became businesslike. "How `bout we meet up somewhere and I show you some of the tricks of the trade?"

"Sure." Donna said. "I'm leaving work now."

"Me too." C.J. said. "Sam won't be home til around eleven; he's got a late meeting on the hill. And Mom's, um... working late with Leo." Donna snickered audibly. "How about our place?"

"Okay."

C.J. gave Gina quick directions to her apartment. "See you soon, then?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks for doing this."

"Well, I expect one thing in return."

Donna and C.J. sighed collectively. Of course. "What would that be?" C.J. asked guardedly. She couldn't make too many deals.

"Invite me to your bachelorette party if you lose. I wanna see the two famed White House bachelors do the full monty."

"The full monty? Interesting thought." C.J. laughed. "Sure, what the hell. See you later."

"Later."

 


	5. Wild Night 5

 

Disclaimers in part 1

\------  
It was about two hours later that Gina knocked on C.J.'s door. "It's Gina!" she called.

"Hi." C.J. opened the door and got a good look at the woman. She was very short, maybe five foot three, with wildly curly brown hair. She had the curvy body type common to shorter people, but it was appealing in a sophisticated sort of way.

"Hey. You're C.J., right?" Gina stuck out a hand. "Gina Coe."

"Nice to meet you." C.J. smiled. "Donna!" she called into the back room. "Come on!"

"Oh, all right." Hesitantly Donna walked out into the room. "I'm not so sure about this," she began to say.

Gina ignored her. "Oh, honey, you've got the perfect figure for this," she said, critically appraising Donna's features. "This will be a snap."

"I said I'm not sure about this," Donna said, voice rising.

"Okay." Gina nodded. "I can understand that. But will you just let me try something?"

Donna was suspicious. "What?"

"Just your hair," Gina said, cajoling. "If we don't go through with this, you can just go to work and get a rise out of Mr. Lyman."

C.J. smiled. "Yeah, Donna. I wouldn't try to pressure you or anything, but at the very least Josh would spontaneously combust, seeing you with brown or red hair."

The thought of Josh stirred Donna, as C.J.'d hoped it would. "Yeah ..." Donna said slowly, a smile hesitantly appearing on her alabaster features. "He *would* freak, wouldn't he?"

"That's the way to do it!" Gina clapped her hands together. "Donna, you wanna give it a go?"

"Sure, what the hell." Donna's smile finally peeked through. "Just the hair at first."

"That's cool." Gina grabbed the large bag she'd come in with. "I schlepped this all the way up here cause I didn't know which color you'd want. I was thinkin' brown, for your face shape and your eyes."

"Okay." Donna looked at the box. "This isn't permanent, right?"

"Nah, washes out in thirty washes."

"Okay."

"Cool." Gina turned to C.J. "We'll need towels and stuff. Oh, and ... is Mr. Seaborn coming home anytime soon?"

C.J. chuckled, pointing Gina to the linen closet. "Not that I know of. He's meeting Senator Glass on the Hill right now."

Donna laughed and rolled her eyes. For Gina's benefit she explained. "Senator Glass is one of the biggest windbags on the Hill. He's the only man I've ever met who can out-talk the President."

"Okay." Gina took a few towels and shepherded Donna into the bathroom. "Let's go. C.J., will you help me here?"

"Sure."

About twenty-five minutes later, C.J. and Gina were sitting in the living room waiting for Donna. "Come on, is it done?" C.J. called.

"Yeah, it's done." Donna's tone sounded half excited, half frightened.

"Then will you come out?" Gina asked impatiently. "I wanna see if I screwed it up or not."

"Okay." The two women heard the door crack open, and a moment later Donna strode out. But what a Donna! Instead of her usual blond locks her face was now framed by chestnut brown hair. It did wonders for her usual face shape. Instead of looking competent and secretarial, she looked mysterious and vaguely exotic.

Gina couldn't stop grinning. "You look great, kid," she said.

"I'm so impressed." C.J. thought to reassure her friend, but the look did really suit Donna.

"I'm glad." Donna was beginning to really warm to the idea, C.J. could tell. She twirled her hair around, liking the way the brown swirled in front of her face. "You really think it looks good?"

"Totally." Gina rose from her position on the couch. "So... you wanna try the clothes, just for the hell of it?"

"Clothes?" Donna echoed.

"Sure." Gina's eyes swept up and down Donna's long frame. "No offense or anything, but you couldn't exactly be a stripper wearin' stuff like *that.*"

C.J. half expected Donna to say something rude, but instead she followed Gina's gaze and laughed ruefully. "I guess not. What'd you have in mind?"

"Well," Gina said, rummaging in her bag again, "I guessed you might be the same size as Felicity. Let's go see." She ushered the other woman into the back room. 

C.J. waited expectantly, smiling to herself at the incongruity of it all. When Josh had let that comment about "dull Donna" slip, it was as if Donna had taken it upon herself to prove him wrong. Not like that was anything new, but still... this was less of a time to keep an eye on the boys than it was a sort of crusade.

All of a sudden she heard Donna's high-pitched voice. "My God!"

"What?" C.J. called. "That bad?"

"No!" Gina answered. "It looks great! Donna, go show her."

"Okay!" Not even a tiny bit of argument passed Donna's lips before she bounced out of the back room. "What do you think, C.J.?" she asked, twirling like a ten-year old on Christmas.

C.J. was astounded. Yet another metamorphosis had taken place. Donna now looked even better in a greenish halter top, held around her neck by a brass ring, and very tight dark denim jeans. On her feet were spiky heels, about as thin as possible. She'd turn any man's head in less than a second. "Wow," C.J. said aloud. "Donna, if you wore that to work you'd turn every male head in the building. Including the President's."

Just as she spoke the phone rang. Warning Donna and Gina to keep quiet, C.J. picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me." Sam sounded as though he was calling from a wind tunnel. 

"Hey." C.J. frowned. "Where the hell *are* you? The connection isn't too great."

"I'm out at the corner on Pennsylvania, heading back to the car," Sam said, having to shout. "There's a lot of traffic, and it's starting to rain."

C.J. glanced out the window and exclaimed. Sam was right. The sky was darkening, and she could hear the occasional rumble as thunderclouds rolled in. "You coming home now?"

"Yeah," Sam answered. "I'll be home in twenty minutes."

"Okay." C.J. answered, while thinking, *Shit! Gotta get these two out of here!*

"Bye, C.J."

"Bye, Sam."

C.J. hung up the phone and addressed the two women. "You guys gotta go. Sam's coming home."

"Okay." Donna nodded. "I don't want him to see me like this." The Donna-devil grin, as it was called, made an appearance on her face. "At least, not until tomorrow night."

Gina grinned broadly. "That'll be so great. And doesn't she look hot?"

Donna couldn't keep the smile off her face either. "I love it. Really. Gina, I want to do this."

"You sure, now?" Gina asked. "You know the dangers. And I imagine that C.J. here'll have to kill you if the press gets wind of this."

"Yeah, I do. But I think I'll do it anyway."

"If you're sure." Gina slung an arm around Donna's shoulders. "Come on, then."

"Where are we going?" Donna asked.

"We're going to my place." Gina grabbed her bag. "I've gotta teach you a few tricks of the trade."

"Okay."

C.J. thought of one thing. "Donna, call in sick tomorrow. Obviously Sam and Josh can't see your hair."

"You're right," Donna said, nodding. "I'll do that." She headed out the door with Gina. "Call you later."

C.J. marveled at the turn of events. "Okay." She went back into the bathroom to clean up, and so did not see Donna take a false step and break one of her heels off. Gina merely smiled and rolled her eyes. It could all be fixed.

 


	6. Wild Night 6

 

Standard Disclaimers apply. (See pt 1)   
\------

The next day at work was interesting, to say the least.

C.J. came in at about her normal time, only to be greeted by a chorus of male whining. 

"C.J., did you know Donna called in today?" Josh whined. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing!"

"C.J.," Sam whined, "my tux is late!"

"C.J.," Toby said in a voice that was perilously close to whining, "Danny is in my office and won't leave. Please make him go. Now."

Putting her briefcase down, C.J. faced the three men. "Josh, Donna doesn't feel well. Sam, your tux is your own damn problem. And Toby, you kick Danny out. I'm sure you can think of something sufficiently fearsome."

They looked like they wanted to bother her more, but only Sam remained. "Hey, C.J., can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead. But if you want to whine, Sam..." C.J. left the threat unfinished. They were more effective that way.

"No, I don't." Sam smiled. "I just wanted to know what you're doing tonight while Josh and I are out."

C.J. had to stop the grin. If only he knew. "Actually," she said, quickly improvising, "Donna and I are going to watch a movie."

"Cool."

"Yeah, it'll be a nice diversion before my bachelorette party in three days." C.J. smirked. This was going to be so good. But they had to win the bet.

Sam was about to say more, but Carol stuck her head in the room. "C.J., the First Lady wants to talk to you. She made an appointment."

"Okay. For when?"

Carol checked her watch. "Now."

C.J. cursed, trying to get everything in order. Carol had been doing that to her since the entire maid of honor thing. "Damn it," she muttered. How many times would she have to apologise?

Sam, meanwhile, was making tracks. "I'll see you later, C.J. You know me and the First Lady." Though he'd never admit it, Sam was frightened to death of the president's wife.

"Wimp," C.J. muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." C.J. gave him a patently fake smile. "Better go before Abbey gets here, sweetheart."

"Right." Sam turned and walked away without so much as a 'later.'C.J. grumbled under her breath, but she didn't have time to do much more.

Abbey Bartlet was right on time. "Hi, C.J. Got a minute?"

"Well, ma'am, since you made an appointment I would think so." Quickly C.J. ran over the past few days in her mind. Had she done anything to annoy anyone? Well, any more than usual?

"I just did that to assure myself of having your ear for a while uninterrupted." Abbey smiled. "No, I wanted to ask you about your bachelorette party."

C.J. sighed with relief. "Oh!"

However, the First Lady's words were surprising, to say the least. "So, is it true that Josh and Sam are going to strip and I'm not invited?"

After C.J. recovered her breath, she answered. She could be honest with Abbey, because if nothing else, she knew it wouldn't get to the press. "Well, Abbey," she said, closing the door, "we made a bet with them, and if they lose that's the consequence."

"How amusing." A smile twitched at Abbey's lips. "And I'm not invited?"

"Of course you're invited," C.J. said before she could think.

"Good." Abbey turned to leave. "Have a good day, C.J., and keep me posted."

"Sure." As the First Lady left C.J. found it very difficult to keep herself from cracking up. The First Lady, at her bachelorette party? Not only would the Secret Service have to be female, but she could see the looks on Josh and Sam's faces when she told them that Abbey Bartlet would be there.

Wait a second, C.J. remonstrated. Who said she had to tell them?

Chuckling to herself, C.J. sat down to finish her notes for her next briefing. Now it was official. She and Donna absolutely *had* to win the bet. If only to see Sam and Josh and Abbey.


	7. Wild Night 7

 

Standard disclaimers/etc: see pt 1   
\-------

Night was falling, and so were Donna's spirits. She fussed nervously with the halter top as Gina put the finishing touches on her makeup. "You gonna chicken out, now?" Gina asked, putting on a fire-engine lipstick.

"No-oo," Donna said doubtfully. "I'm just... a little nervous."

"It's understandable," Gina said. She fixed her large hoop earrings. "Don't worry, kiddo. If you want you can back out right now, and I'll watch Mr. Lyman and Mr. Seaborn for ya."

Looking at the other woman, who clearly meant what she said, Donna was forced to think about the whole issue. Would she back out and be just 'dull Donna' again? She knew Josh loved her, but did he respect her? Because this would clearly gain respect. If she could pull it off.

"I may regret it, but no," Donna said, "I'm not backing out." She grabbed her coat, a thin black leather that matched her new dark hair.

"Good." Gina cracked. "Would have been awfully difficult to get another girl on such short notice."

Donna laughed. Wordlessly she took her coat and allowed herself to be conducted out of Gina's apartment and down to the street. The two women caught a cab over to Josh's place. Her place. But it felt positively alien right now. Was that good or bad? It was hard to tell.

The street was lit up with arriving headlights as the cab dropped them off. Donna walked inside her apartment building feeling like a complete stranger. She checked her pocket, which held C.J.'s personal cell phone � it wouldn't do to use government property.

She walked inside fully ready to be assaulted, but the only thing she saw that registered was Sam. He stared at her with open admiration, and though she was terrified that he'd recognize her she kept walking.

Something inside her mind made her look him straight in the face and stick out a hand. Taking care to moderate her voice, she said, "Mr. Seaborn?"

Sam finally tore his eyes from her clothes, her hair, her makeup � skilfully applied by Gina � to answer. In a voice not quite like his own, he said, "Pl-pleased to meet you."

"Likewise." For some reason she'd chosen a husky purr for her voice. It just seemed to fit the character she was trying to play. And in a flash Donna came up with the name for herself. It was utterly perfect, and just close enough to scare her friend. "I'm Abby Barrett. I'm filling in for Felicity."

Donna saw Sam slightly pale as he digested this. "Abby... Barrett?"

"Right." Donna grinned; it would do no harm. "Congratulations, Mr. Seaborn."

Gina heard this exchange and sidled over. "Hi, Mr. Seaborn. You know me, right?"

"Right." Sam was relieved to focus on someone else other than Abby for a moment. Christ, she was beautiful! But for some bizarre reason, she looked familiar. "Good to see you again, Gina," he said, taking a swig of beer. "Talked to Laurie lately?"

"Actually, I have," Gina answered. "She's in Chicago. She said she'd call you when she gets settled."

"Cool." Sam gestured behind him. "Well, come on in."

The room was full of men already. Donna spied some familiar faces, much to her chagrin. The Senate Majority Leader. A prominent Congressman. And... Toby?!?

He saw her at the exact moment she saw him and rose, heading over to greet her. Waiting politely until Sam was out of earshot, he shook her hand while whispering in her ear, "Donna, you can fool Sam and Josh, but definitely not me."

"How could you tell?" Donna said in a low voice.

Toby smiled, or gave his version of a smile. "I'm observant." He straightened up. "Don't worry, though. In about two hours Sam and Josh will be too drunk to notice."

"That's what I'm counting on." Donna grinned. "Will you help me out, Toby?"

"By not drawing attention to you?" Toby smirked. "I think you'll do that all by yourself, if I understand this right."

"Fine." Donna sighed, whispering quickly as Sam returned. "Then just don't blackmail me later."

"We'll see."

Sam had opened a second beer and was chatting amiably with his guests. "Hey, Toby. Enjoying it so far?"

"I suppose." Toby turned to survey the crowd. "Lot of politicians here, Sam."

"Yeah, well." Sam shrugged.

He was about to say more when a happy shout came from over his shoulder. "Sam!" Josh came over, giggling happily. He was already a bit relaxed, which Donna took to be a good sign. It didn't take much to get Josh trashed.

He saw her and bowed mockingly. "Joshua Lyman at your service, Miss..." He trailed off, waiting for a name.

"Abby Barrett," Donna said in her throaty purr. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Lyman."

He didn't notice a thing. "You're a beautiful woman, Miss Barrett," Josh said, polishing off his drink. "But alas, and take no offense, I have better waiting at home."

Donna's eyebrows raised. "Oh really?" she said before she could think about it. On the spur of the moment she decided to mess with him a bit. Slipping an arm around his waist, she said, "Are you certain of that?"

Just as firmly, Josh removed it. "Yes. Besides. Donna would rip my nose off if she saw me with someone as pretty as you." And with that he made his way back through the crowd.

Donna was both flattered and insulted. *Well!* she thought. *Let's see if he's 'still got better at home' by the time this night is through!*

 


	8. Wild Night 8

 

Standard Disclaimers apply. See pt 1 

\-----

Meanwhile, C.J. paced restlessly at her and Sam's apartment. Donna was supposed to call when she got things going. It wasn't like her to forget. Besides, she wanted to know what was going on.

Finally the phone rang. C.J. pounced on it. "Donna?"

Unfortunately, it wasn't. "No, it's Leo. Why, what're you doing tonight?"

"Not a lot." C.J. lied. "Why?"

"No reason." Leo shifted tones. "Listen, I need the number for Eleanor's place." Since establishing herself full-time in Washington C.J.'s mother had rented a place of her own. She had given Leo the number at least four times and he had lost it each time.

C.J. sighed. "Just a minute." She went rummaging for it, and eventually located the scrap of paper. "Here," she said, spelling out the number. She was about to elaborate but a small voice inside her head asked, what if Donna was trying to call?

Thus she said, "Mom should be home, Leo. Goodbye." Without waiting for an answer she hung up the phone, and true to her foreboding it rang again. "Hello?" 

"C.J., it's me." Donna sounded like she'd had a fair amount to drink herself.

"Donna? What've you been doing?"

The younger woman giggled. "Nothing, C.J. I've just been... watching, really. And trying to get Josh to hit on me."

"What?" C.J. was confused.

Donna sighed and explained, giggling all the while with pent-up nervousness. "I approached him and thought I'd mess with him a little bit. But he's tried to ignore me. Says he has better at home."

"That's too funny!" C.J. laughed. Her voice took on a hard edge though. "Is he drunk? And how's Sam?"

"Sam's not drunk yet, though he's getting there."

"Do I even have to ask about Josh?"

"Probably not, though I haven't seen him in a half-hour or so." Donna broke off as something happened in the background. "Go Josh!" she cheered, laughing.

"What's up?" C.J. asked.

"The best!" Donna let out a laugh that was eerily akin to a cackle. "Josh and Sam are doing Jello shots!"

C.J. shook her head, laughing. The boys were making this far too easy.

"Oh!" Donna reacted as if someone had stuck her with a pin. "Toby's here too."

"I might have guessed it," C.J. answered. "What'd he say? Did he recognize you?" She reckoned Sam and Josh had not, for Donna would not have remained there if they had.

"Actually..." Donna lowered her voice. "Yeah, he did. But he hasn't unmasked me or anything."

"Good." C.J. thought for a moment. "He might be a useful ally."

"Well... he would be if he was sober." Donna's tone was apologetic, yet a hint of amusement crept in.

C.J. had to chuckle. Toby was an extremely funny drunk. "Go back to the party, Donna. Keep an eye on the guys."

"I will."

"Call me later."

"I will."

The two women disconnected. Donna stuck the cell phone in her little handbag and rejoined the party.

It was a little strange. At the beginning Donna had been nervous, and felt out of place. But now with a purpose � messing with Josh � she'd found herself growing into the role. She'd sat on the lap of a prominent senator just for fun. And she'd watched Gina do her routine until she wound up completely nude, standing right in front of Josh. And he hadn't blinked.

If Donna hadn't been so confused, she would have applauded. Josh was staying away from women for... what? For her? Who the hell knew?

She walked back to the party, where she bumped into Sam. "Hi, Mr. Seaborn," Donna purred, instantly on guard. "Having fun?"

"Oh yeah!" Sam's face, luckily, had taken on that pink tinge that signifies an overconsumption of alcohol.

"Good. I'm glad." Just for effect, Donna slipped an arm around Sam's waist.

He didn't remove it. "So," he said, grinning that child's smile, "what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Donna had to giggle. "It's just for fun," she said.

"Fun." Sam echoed. Putting down his glass, he appraised her. "It must be lotsa fun."

Something in his look didn't sit well with her. "Um, I'll see you 'round," Donna said, ducking away. Only then was she conscious of the fact that she was holding her breath. Letting it out, she kicked herself viciously. What the *hell* was wrong with her.

After a moment she spotted Gina, now clothed. "How's it going, kiddo?" the other woman asked.

"Pretty well," Donna answered.

Gina smirked. She was a little tipsy, but coherent enough to speak and walk a straight line. "Well, I've got news that'll make the night better. Mr. Lyman is, in my opinion, what we call pissy-assed drunk."

Donna laughed. "Fabulous! Where is he?"

Gina gestured to the couch. Josh was sprawled out on it, peacefully watching the party guests.

Donna ducked into the other room to keep from laughing. 

  



	9. Wild Night 9

 

Standard disclaimers/etc: See pt 1   
Feedback: Please?   
\------

Three hours had passed. It was now one a.m., and though the party was winding down Donna still felt wide awake. Josh had long since passed out, and was now snoring serenely. The guests had gone home, Toby included. The latter had stumbled his way out, declaring morosely that it wasn't fair; Sam always had all the fun. Donna had been tempted to do something to make him feel better, but she'd changed her mind and watched him leave.

Gina, now yawning conspicuously, came up beside Donna. "How ya holding up, kid?" she asked, flopping onto the sofa beside Josh, who didn't stir.

"I'm fine," Donna answered. She sighed and sat down on the arm of the chair. "It's just..."

"What?"

Donna looked up at the older woman. Something in her face made the story easy to spill. "Josh told me once that I'd never be anything more than a dull secretary. You know that."

"Yeah."

"Well, I felt really... for lack of a better word... *alive* doing this. You know?" Donna edged herself onto the couch next to Gina. "But he didn't know it was me, and he didn't even think this 'me' was pretty."

Gina snorted. "Don't go by the outside, dearie. I know when a guy is interested in a girl. And trust me. He was interested."

The other woman's words heartened her a little, but they also reminded Donna of the other strange thing that had gone on that night. "Well... so was Sam," she said softly. "He was leering at me."

" 'Leering?' " Gina echoed.

"Yes." Donna sighed. "I can't explain it. He leered."

"So what are you saying?" Gina looked at Donna, seriousness overtaking her lighthearted mien. "He was hitting on you?"

Donna bit her lip, looking troubled. "I don't know."

Gina shrugged. "Well, why don't you just go hit on him and see if he answers back?"

Donna stared at her indreculously. "Hit on Sam?" she echoed. "Are you nuts? He's about to marry my best friend, for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, well, do you want him to marry her knowing that he was hitting on you?"

"I guess not." Donna got up and started to make her way over to the other room. But she stopped herself. "Gina..." she said. "I don't know if I can do this."

The other woman rolled her eyes. "Donna. Shut up, go over there, and at the very least have a little fun before that beautiful man is off the market."

Well, when she put it like that... Donna rose, heaved a resolute sigh, and headed over to the living room.

However, when she got there, she found a rather unexpected sight. Sam was trying, unsuccessfully, to close the CD player. He kept missing, however, and as Donna walked into the room his eyes filled with inebriated tears. "Abb-y?"

It was all Donna could do not to collapse laughing. "Sam, what's wrong?" she said, biting her lip to keep her composure.

He gestured sloppily towards the offending object. "This won't work."

"That's too bad, Sam." Donna sat down in the chair. "Have you tried to close it?"

"Yes." Sam's lip wobbled as some of the tears threatened to spill over. "But I can't!" He went to sit down next to Donna, but missed, and wound up sitting on the floor.

Donna stroked his hair absently. How could she ever have thought Sam was hitting on her? How could she ever thought of flirting back? "Sam, it's okay," she said. "I'll close it."

He was perilously close to bawling now. "But you're not C.J.!"

Donna could no longer hold in the laughter. Giggling she said, "Sam, do you miss C.J. right now?"

"Yes..." Sam laid his head against Donna's legs and made an effort to calm down. "I want C.J., Abby."

"Don't worry," Donna whispered, not wanting to wake Josh. "You can see C.J. in the morning. After we all go to sleep."

That was the wrong thing to say. "Sleep. Sleep good." With a dreamy, intoxicated smile, Sam passed out, falling asleep leaning against Donna.

Donna looked down incredulously. He was drunk... he was asleep... wait a minute. They had won!

"Gina!" she hissed. "Gina, get in here!"

She came at a run, and instantly stopped in her tracks. Trying not to giggle, she said, "You want me to get him off you?"

"Please." Donna choked through cackles of amusement. "My leg's falling asleep."

Slowly Gina grasped the unconscious man's shoulders and lifted, while Donna extricated herself from the deadweight that was Sam. Once free, the two women maneuvered him so he was propped against the bottom of the sofa, lying on his side. "Good," Gina said. "He won't drown."

"Right."

"Well, I'm going to get outta here." Gina stood and began fumbling for her bag. "It's getting late."

"Sure you're all right to drive home?"

"Yeah, fine. Swear. I'll get a cab." Gina lingered for just a moment, though. "Hey, Donna... this was fun."

"Yeah, it was." Donna grinned. "Any time you need an extra stripper, come find me."

"Yeah." Gina looked back once. "See you 'round."

"No," Donna said, an afterthought striking, "see you at C.J.'s bachelorette party. Remember? She said she'd invite you if we won. And," she finished, gesturing to the two unconscious men, "we've definitely won."

"Yeah. Guess so." Gina walked out laughing. "Call me about it."

"I will." Once she was gone, Donna watched the sleeping men. Finding the phone, she dialed the familiar number and spoke only a few words. "C.J.? It's me. We've got them."


	10. Wild Night 10

 

Disclaimers/etc: see pt 1 

\------

The next day at the White House, C.J. and Donna came in together, with Donna pinning her hair up inside a kerchief. "How great is this going to be?" Donna couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"I think Josh will have a coronary when he sees your hair," C.J. joked, "never mind the bet."

"You never know."

The Wing was relatively uncrowded for the start of a workday. C.J. and Donna could hear Sam and Josh stumbling in, moaning, from halfway down the hall. "Let's get to my office," C.J. said. "They'll most likely look here, after that nice wake-up call."

Donna giggled. "Definitely." The two of them had taken great pleasure in turning up the stereo that morning. Not as loud as it would go, but loud enough to make the two hung-over men howl in protest. Donna had ducked out before Josh could see her hair, but C.J. had assured her on the way over that it had all been extremely worth it.

C.J. was proved right as Carol knocked on the door not five minutes after the two women entered. "C.J., Sam and Josh are here."

"Send them in," C.J. called. To Donna she hissed, "Put your hair back up!" Donna hastily did so, just as the door flung open.

There they were, looking godawful. "All right," Josh said, speaking slowly and carefully. "I want to know who's coming to your bachelorette party, C.J. I need time before I gird myself for this humiliation."

Barely containing her laughter, C.J. passed him the handwritten list. He and Sam perused it together, at intervals exclaiming in protests as loud as their pounding heads would allow.

"Ainsley?" Josh whined.

"Zoey and Ellie Bartlet?" Sam griped.

Their complaints paled when they saw the last name on the list: the First Lady. Josh threw the paper down, eyes blazing with anger, yet fear. "C.J., please! Please, tell me the First Lady is not coming to your bachelorette party!"

Donna and C.J. couldn't hold it in anymore. "She stopped by and asked me specifically," C.J. said in between spurts of laughter. "I couldn't exactly say no."

"This is going to be so good!" Donna threw back her head and laughed. Unfortunately, at that moment her kerchief decided to loose itself. It flew onto the floor, leaving her chocolate-colored hair for all to see.

Sam and Josh's mouths dropped open in unison as they remembered what they could of the following night. "You!" Sam's eyes were so wide they resembled blue ping-pong balls. "You were her!"

Josh was quicker. "Donna, you were there last night!"

"Was I?" Donna couldn't exactly deny it.

Josh's face went red with poorly-concealed fury as he remembered some of the things that his girlfriend had done last night � and who she had done them to. "Donna!" He sputtered through his anger. "What � I � you � why the hell �"

Donna cut him off. Staring him straight in the face, she said evenly, "Guess I'm not 'dull Donna' anymore, am I Josh?"

Josh couldn't speak. He tried to come up with words, but couldn't. "Take a picture," C.J. cracked. "Josh speechless is a once-in-a-lifetime thing."

Donna merely stared at him with utter satisfaction. Finally he would respect her, as well as love her. This, as she well knew, took guts. He wouldn't break up with her; she knew that. This would change their relationship, but for the better.

Sam, meanwhile, had processed this. "Donna, if you were there, that means you cheated. Which means," he said with relief, "that we don't have to strip at the bachelorette party!"

C.J. held up a hand. "Whoa there, Spanky. Who says we cheated?"

"Well... if Donna was there, she could have easily given us alcohol," Sam said, a trifle hesitantly. He didn't want to call his fiancée a liar, but... this wasn't exactly an argument he could just let her win.

Still, C.J.'s smile never left her face. "Oh, she didn't."

"How do you know?" Josh said, finally having recovered the power of speech.

"Easy." Donna turned away and yelled, "Toby!"

He arrived momentarily, with a look almost as black as Josh and Sam's. "Yes, Donna?"

"Would you mind telling Sam and Josh what you told me last night?"

"Sure. Then I can go sleep." Toby faced the guys and spoke, shortly and declaratively. "Last night, to the best of my knowledge, Donna did not give either of you anything to drink."

C.J. and Donna smiled smugly, and Toby was about to leave when Josh's voice stopped him. "Just a second, Toby. Weren't you drunk too?"

Toby fixed him with a glare. "I was not strictly sober, but I wasn't drunk enough to forget everything. Ask me something that happened last night."

"Okay." Sam thought for a moment and finally spoke. "Toby, what did Abby � er � Donna do to Senator Dawes last night?"

With a glance for Donna that could only be described as evil, Toby leaned over and whispered in Sam's ear. Sam flushed bright red, then leaned over and whispered to Josh.

After the confab, of sorts, Sam faced the women. Speaking quietly, he said, "What time is your party, C.J.?"

"Yes!" C.J. and Donna high-fived. "So you admit defeat?" Donna said, slightly mocking.

"Yeah, yeah," Josh muttered. "Just let me get really drunk before I do it, so at least I won't *feel* the humiliation."

Toby wasn't moved. "Yeah, yeah. Take pictures. Can I go now?"

"Yeah." Donna smiled at Toby. "Thanks a lot."

"Sure, whatever." Even as he spoke, however, there was a mischievous gleam in Toby's eyes as he left.

Sam groaned. "If you take pictures, C.J., so help me..."

C.J. ignored him. In an ostentatiously loud voice she said, "Hey, Josh, can you wear that leopard-print speedo that you have concealed in your underwear drawer? I think it'd be a big hit."

Josh couldn't look at her. "Please," he said to no one in particular, "tell me this isn't going to happen."

Two nights later, Donna patted her boyfriend on the back as he and Sam prepared. "Don't worry, Josh!" she said, already a bit giggly. "You'll do fine!"

Sam was hunched back in a corner. "I feel naked already."

C.J. was laughing too hard to comment, so Donna did so. "Sam, it'll be fine. We told everyone no cameras." *Except for the one I have in my pocket,* she added silently.

Josh had been about to say something snarky, but changed his mind. "Sam, you know what?" he said, grabbing Donna's tequila. "Let's just get it over with."

Sam didn't reply, but he didn't have a chance to. He found himself having fun as Josh yanked him out center stage. Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" began to play. Abbey, Zoey, Ellie, Ainsley, Cathy, Gina, Carol and the rest of the women yelled and catcalled and whistled.

But Donna, C.J., Sam and Josh were the only ones laughing.

 


End file.
